Your penis did what ?????? IT EXPLODED

There was 3 main reasons I lost my foreskin and will at some point talk about all 3 I have already talked about the first reason

1 the horrible hair removal accident

2 A holiday in Crete 

3 A girl called Stacy 

So I ended up having to go and have my foreskin removed and as we was in bupa (private insurance) we managed to get the operation done at Stafford private hospital, was a quick in and out operation and managed to go home after a few hours, at this point all was well I felt sad and painful as my cock was in a bandage and part of me was missing but I was brave.

Now I don't think the put enough emphasis on the fact your not allowed to strain or lift heavy objects for a week or two depending on the time it heals, now putting this information in that crappy leaflet isn't helping anyone as no one reads them (I wish I fucking did) so the trouble was a two pronged fuck up:

1 now not straining when you have codeine in your system (strong pain killer but it's terrible for constipation) so I have to push king kongs finger out without straining !!!!!!! That's never going to happen I eat a lot of carbs so when it's coming it's coming. So that's the no straining out of the window

2 now I will admit this was stupid but I needed to move the sofa around to see the tv, buy now my bandage is already getting tighter on the old tinker

So I'm laying on the sofa with all the things moms give to there ill children (i felt I should be ill) I had sweets, chocolate and fizzy pop and was allowed to relax here watching tv. I think it was about an hour after this my bandage was so tight I decided to remove it and give him a little room. I don't think many things get you ready to see your penis after a circumcision especially one that is now so swollen it's started to change colour and morf into something not nice, as I removed the bandage it started to Oooze blood so I got a hand towel and wrapped it up. By now my mom had come home from work and the feeling of pressure on my penis was getting unbearable, little did I know I had a blood clot in one of the vessels (common but normally happens during the operation) and blood is building up and continued to do so until it found a way out. As I opened the towel to show my mom my concerns the buildup of blood found away out of the skin when the wound was stitched (imagine when you laugh with a mouth full of water and it sprays the person your talking to) the blood burst out covering my mom, the cooker and the wall next to her, a moment of relief came just before blind panic "MOM IM GOING TO DIE" was screaming out my mouth, "QUICK CALL 999 BEFORE I LOSE MY PENIS" I was told to get a grip wrap it back up and get into car, now I'm on the way to hospital with a Tshirts shoes and a towel on my junk.
Well the surgery explained it was very common and easily sorted, so there was no need to call his team in or go to surgery he would do the small operation in my bed. This small operation involved going between the two layers of skin that make up The outside of my penis and go on with tweezers and remove the clots. I think it was the moment I felt the needle go into my gooch then my penis then my balls that made me faint, but I remember waking up in agony a very buxom nurse stroking my hair saying it will be ok as I look down and see him digging around in my penis. The surgeon told me he wasn't able to give me any more local anaesthetic but would give me something that would still allow me to feel the pain but I wouldn't give a shit about it, what ever it was wow that shit blew my mind.
The few days after where a little embarrassing as everyone including the woman who brought me lunch wanted to have a look and my penis as it looked like a black pudding.