her nipple ring was like a stately home door knocker

When I started thinking about starting this blog I decided that I should write one every days as so much has happened in my life and sometimes my days are so hectic or weird it needs to be written down, but today was a very boring average day the highlight being the checky vodka and Diet Coke I had at the pub, now as I'm dieting it's clear-spirits and either slimline tonics or diet mixers. Now the only reason I was in the pub is my dad refuses to get the giant tree cut down in the garden and  come 5oclock it's shaded the patio (I would go up garden but he's filled it with fruit trees) so I decided I would take a can of Diet Coke and a hip flask of vodka into the beer garden of the local pub ( yes this is a pikey thing to do but I'm super skint like poor poor) and relax in the sun as my brother was up there with his partner and his son (that made It sound like a same sex couple, his partner is a woman)

That's pretty much how my day was apart from the fact all day my poor burnt scrotum has occasionally needed an emergency creaming and I saw a girl in the pub that I had slept with many years ago and she made me do that uncontrollable shudder you get when you remember bad things, this girl was not a take home to your nan kind of person more make up an excuse to get her out the house while it's still dark and no ones around. I met Dorris (name changed obviously) when me and my brother had walked home after a night out on New Years, we walked past this girl (very ginger hair) and as I had a tray of chips she said "can I have a chip" I said "can I have a bj" (I know I'm so classy asking strangers for oral sex but I hate sharing chips) now to my utter surprise she said "yeah ok" and walked the mile back to mine with us, so obviously we get down to it and decided we might as well make love (that's suger coating it) you can't make love to a girl who looks like that (face like a clumsy bee keeper) after I had finished she told me to go and get my brother to have a go on her as well (remember I did pick her up at a bus stop with a payment of chips) obviously I went and told him but to my surprise he thrust his empty pint glass at me and demanded I get him a juice, so sadly she had to manage with me part 2, I always regret sleeping with her especially as she managed to suck a disposable stitch out of my penis after my foreskin was removed (the stitch was old and didn't fully dissolve) apart from that disgusting act all I can remember is a massive nipple piercing like a door knocker and a heart tattoo. So the drink at the pub brought terrible memories back but it helped me write this blog so it's not all bad.