Help me doctor I have a badly blistered ball bag
So today's embarrassing blog was brought on by the fact I decided today was the day to veet (hair removal cream) my balls, goouch (the bit between your bum and balls) and arsehole, now there is a lesson to be learned here and that's never go full time always go a few minutes under (a classic school boy error) so as I sit here with Sudocream coating my sore chemical Burnt scrotum it took me back to the firstterrible mishap I had with hair removal. Also it's just been brought to my attention that I was told last time not to get into hot bath after using the veet and obviously I forgot that and suddenly had that oooooooooo shit moment.
Now when I was younger like a lot of people (well teenage idiots) I decided to shave my balls with my new mac 3 razor, this was a fucking terrible idea, firstly a ball sack isn't a face with skin nicely stretched over a skull, it's a floppy tea bag like thing with ball in it, so not only was it bright red and itchy my ball bag looked like it had been in a knife fight with my arsehole. Now after butchering my scrotum I decided never to shave again instead I would find another way to keep them looking freshly trimmed, I must point out that I'm only about 15/16 when this happened so My balls probably looked like someone had dropped a sweet in some fluff (in my mind it looked like ape bollocks).
So I had found this product called veet and after carefully reading the tube I set the bathroom up (water in sink, flannel, locked door and got naked) so I apply the cream and sit down for 10 minutes, now what it didn't say was the cream will give a slight tingling sensation (not good on the balls of a teenager who wanks like it will cure world famine) this obviously caused an erection which was handy as I had time to burn.
Have you ever been walking somewhere muddy and you find eventually the mud has made its way up your legs just through the movement of your legs and boots rubbing together ??? Well little to my knowledge this was happening while I was furiously masterbating and a small amount of the acid based chemical found its way onto the tip of my penis and as quickly as it was there the foreskin swept it away underneath the skin, this was a time when I was proud to say I owned foreskin but looking back this incident may have started a chain reaction to the demise of my poor foreskin.
So after a very fast wash (before the time was up so now my balls look like a singed pink tennis ball) I got very swiftly taken to the doctors ( my mom worked there at the time soskipped me into the doctors without having to wait) now having a man forcefully clean the inside of your foreskin before pulling the tattered skin over your bell end isn't something I ever wanted to experience again although this wasn't the last cock issue I had but that's another story.
Now when I was younger like a lot of people (well teenage idiots) I decided to shave my balls with my new mac 3 razor, this was a fucking terrible idea, firstly a ball sack isn't a face with skin nicely stretched over a skull, it's a floppy tea bag like thing with ball in it, so not only was it bright red and itchy my ball bag looked like it had been in a knife fight with my arsehole. Now after butchering my scrotum I decided never to shave again instead I would find another way to keep them looking freshly trimmed, I must point out that I'm only about 15/16 when this happened so My balls probably looked like someone had dropped a sweet in some fluff (in my mind it looked like ape bollocks).
So I had found this product called veet and after carefully reading the tube I set the bathroom up (water in sink, flannel, locked door and got naked) so I apply the cream and sit down for 10 minutes, now what it didn't say was the cream will give a slight tingling sensation (not good on the balls of a teenager who wanks like it will cure world famine) this obviously caused an erection which was handy as I had time to burn.
Have you ever been walking somewhere muddy and you find eventually the mud has made its way up your legs just through the movement of your legs and boots rubbing together ??? Well little to my knowledge this was happening while I was furiously masterbating and a small amount of the acid based chemical found its way onto the tip of my penis and as quickly as it was there the foreskin swept it away underneath the skin, this was a time when I was proud to say I owned foreskin but looking back this incident may have started a chain reaction to the demise of my poor foreskin.
So after a very fast wash (before the time was up so now my balls look like a singed pink tennis ball) I got very swiftly taken to the doctors ( my mom worked there at the time soskipped me into the doctors without having to wait) now having a man forcefully clean the inside of your foreskin before pulling the tattered skin over your bell end isn't something I ever wanted to experience again although this wasn't the last cock issue I had but that's another story.
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