Ritalin and cannabis
So I have had 2 close calls with drugs in my life the first I was 14 and the second I was 30. Neither where planned and I definitely didn't try and take my own life, they where both stupid mistakes and will haunt me for the rest of my life.
I can remember the first time like it was yesterday so I can assure you all the details are correct, now around this time me and a group of us had started smoking cannabis resin and on a Friday night we would go around a friends house as his parents where never in,this Friday night started like so many others we finished school went home got changed and met in the local park where my friends older brother would be waiting with the beer we had ordered (he was 18 and would always go the shop for us if we gave him money to get pills) so we have our beer and weed sorted now it's off to his house for a massive session.
Now I know said it was like any other Friday and it almost was apart from one difference, for the last 2 weeks I had been taking a really high dose of a drug called Ritalin to try and help fight the effects of the ADHD I had not long be diagnosed with, now Ritalin is a very powerful drug that was most definitely should never be taken with anyother drugs or alcohol. So I had forgot to take my morning and afternoon dose (I had them 3 times a day) so when I go to the house I had my 20/20 a vile alcoholic drink but got me hammered a small block of resin and 3 doses of Ritalin, now I decided to take the pills with a massive swig of 20/20 and chase that down with a 'bong' now our bongs where always made from an empty 2ltre bottle of pop with a hole about an inch up from the bottom then a tinfoil lid made with a slight dip and lots of pin holes in, so you fill up the bottle with water burn the crumbled resin in the lid then release and the water draws the smoke into the bottle then remove lid and inhale, now even on a normal day this gets you stoned but having a whole days worth of Ritalin 20/20 and a massive hit of weed was one of the most stupid things I have ever done.
It wasn't an instant feeling that I had fucked up but within 10 minutes I remember sitting on his sofa and it was like someone had slowed the whole world down and every so often pressed rewind a few seconds, like Deja vu over and over again I knew something was wrong so left the house and started to walk home feeling like the floor was slightly soft (imagine walking on a bouncy castle) as I walked my body got heavier and the floor got softer also I was aware my heart beat was getting faster and felt like it was beating out my chest, I remember walking in straight past my parents and went to bed, as I lay on my bed the room was getting darker and my heart beat stronger, it was beating so hard I felt like it would be visible in my chest, I feel it was a horrible trip as I was so high I don't know, but then it stopped I could feel my heartbeat anymore my eyes where blurring and I convinced myself I had dies so I walked down stairs the whole room like one of those light drawings and stood in front of my mom and tried to push my hands through her to prove to my self I was dead. Everything started to get darker and blurry from this point as I collapsed into the car waking up in Stafford hospital reception I was very rude to the kind lady behind the counter until my moms friend appeared this reaction made me burst into tears the whole of my body started to ache and feel heavy, after a spell of laughing and crying I was then moved to a ward I was too high to know what ward it was but I know that I had to see a specialist but until he gave me the secret handshake I wasn't going to talk to him (obviously I had to teach it to him first) I passed out soon after this. When I woke up I looked like shit dirty creased cloths and a general look about me that I had been to hospital with drug issues. We waited for pills at the chemist then went home, my mom looked at me in disgust how I could do this to her, how I could do this to myself, that disgust and disappointment still sticks in my mind today but it didn't stop me or make a change in my life.
I can remember the first time like it was yesterday so I can assure you all the details are correct, now around this time me and a group of us had started smoking cannabis resin and on a Friday night we would go around a friends house as his parents where never in,this Friday night started like so many others we finished school went home got changed and met in the local park where my friends older brother would be waiting with the beer we had ordered (he was 18 and would always go the shop for us if we gave him money to get pills) so we have our beer and weed sorted now it's off to his house for a massive session.
Now I know said it was like any other Friday and it almost was apart from one difference, for the last 2 weeks I had been taking a really high dose of a drug called Ritalin to try and help fight the effects of the ADHD I had not long be diagnosed with, now Ritalin is a very powerful drug that was most definitely should never be taken with anyother drugs or alcohol. So I had forgot to take my morning and afternoon dose (I had them 3 times a day) so when I go to the house I had my 20/20 a vile alcoholic drink but got me hammered a small block of resin and 3 doses of Ritalin, now I decided to take the pills with a massive swig of 20/20 and chase that down with a 'bong' now our bongs where always made from an empty 2ltre bottle of pop with a hole about an inch up from the bottom then a tinfoil lid made with a slight dip and lots of pin holes in, so you fill up the bottle with water burn the crumbled resin in the lid then release and the water draws the smoke into the bottle then remove lid and inhale, now even on a normal day this gets you stoned but having a whole days worth of Ritalin 20/20 and a massive hit of weed was one of the most stupid things I have ever done.
It wasn't an instant feeling that I had fucked up but within 10 minutes I remember sitting on his sofa and it was like someone had slowed the whole world down and every so often pressed rewind a few seconds, like Deja vu over and over again I knew something was wrong so left the house and started to walk home feeling like the floor was slightly soft (imagine walking on a bouncy castle) as I walked my body got heavier and the floor got softer also I was aware my heart beat was getting faster and felt like it was beating out my chest, I remember walking in straight past my parents and went to bed, as I lay on my bed the room was getting darker and my heart beat stronger, it was beating so hard I felt like it would be visible in my chest, I feel it was a horrible trip as I was so high I don't know, but then it stopped I could feel my heartbeat anymore my eyes where blurring and I convinced myself I had dies so I walked down stairs the whole room like one of those light drawings and stood in front of my mom and tried to push my hands through her to prove to my self I was dead. Everything started to get darker and blurry from this point as I collapsed into the car waking up in Stafford hospital reception I was very rude to the kind lady behind the counter until my moms friend appeared this reaction made me burst into tears the whole of my body started to ache and feel heavy, after a spell of laughing and crying I was then moved to a ward I was too high to know what ward it was but I know that I had to see a specialist but until he gave me the secret handshake I wasn't going to talk to him (obviously I had to teach it to him first) I passed out soon after this. When I woke up I looked like shit dirty creased cloths and a general look about me that I had been to hospital with drug issues. We waited for pills at the chemist then went home, my mom looked at me in disgust how I could do this to her, how I could do this to myself, that disgust and disappointment still sticks in my mind today but it didn't stop me or make a change in my life.
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