Would have been better if you ripped my tights first

I feel that we all have our embarrassing sex story's and some people go through life with maybe one or two at worst 3, but there are those of us that seem to have missed the life briefing on how not to make a complete twat of yourself when it comes to the art of love making, I say love making but that would paint a picture I'm a candles, music and passion kind of lover (ha ha ha) no I'm more a pants to the side, best 2 minutes of my life kind of guy although I do try my hardest to make the other person happy, now sometimes cumming fast and getting off is the way to make them happy.

So back too what I will always rate as one of the top 5 biggest sexual fuckups of my life so far, in my early too mid twenties I was sleeping with a girl who can only be classified as a 'fuck machine' now she was slightly older than me and a lot more experienced (was still at the stage my socks stayed on) which for me was amazing as I had my first car blowjob although she had weird teeth that where wonky on one side and fine on the other, so if I was in the drivers seat the oral was amazing but if it was the other way around not so good (almost like wanking off with dominos in my hand and no not the pizza the small rectangular things) any way back to the story, so I'm young getting my life force fucked out of me by a heavyset lady and then one faithful night I go out on the piss with my brother his gf and the sex machine ( predictive text once put her name as big Thursday so let's call her that) we come back to mine, I start the whole male drunken sex rant claiming I'm going to destroy her and she won't be able to walk after the damage I do with my penis (alcohol has now turned me into a sex god, my penis is more powerful than THOR'S hammer) although I'm about one beer away from losing the ability to fuck my way out of a paper bag.

So after making food (this happens a lot when drunk) which was a pizza topped with all random shit out the fridge I decide to drag her to bed, throwing her on the bed ripping my cloths off like the sex god I am ( now that may not have been the way my cloths came off but in my mind it did) I approached her cock at the ready and boom I'm at it like the hero I am, now I truly believed I was giving her the time of her life, this however wasn't quite true as what I had neglected to do was either rip or remove her tights, what I had in fact done is spend ten minutes fucking in between her tights and the bed resulting in me eventually cumming all over the bed, now to make it worse she told me after I looked like I was having such a good time she didn't want to stop me ( I mean FOR FUCKS SAKE) so that is one of 5 terrible sex story's